by Lori Reed for Work-At-Home.org
Having been a sensitive child that hated to be away from home when I was young, the decision to be a stay at home mom was a simple one to make. After what I’d been through, I was not willing to put my children in day care. What I learned later in life as a worker in a day care center has made me very grateful that I made the choice to be a stay at home mom.
We sacrificed a lot for me to be able to stay at home with our children. To help make ends meet I used to care for other peoples’ children. My heart goes out to any mother who does not have a choice, and sadly many don’t, but now there are services (such as JobsForMoms.com) that help moms find real scam-free jobs they can do at home. It’s not impossible to work at home anymore.
Last year for a very short time I had a chance to work in a daycare center. The ideas that mothers have about what each of these choices offer their children are a little slanted it seems sometimes. When I went to work at the center, it was not anything like I thought it would be.
I believe that the daycare option is not what parents think it is. A lot of mothers think that their children will be smarter and more advanced if they choose a daycare center. But they may not be aware that in reality, many daycare centers are on such a strict schedule that there is no time for personal attention or to just talk with the little kids.
At the day care center, many of the children left their parents and arrived at 7:00 A.M. and didn’t get to leave until 5:30 P.M. The little kids would run to their parents to go home. Unfortunately that does not leave much time to spend with them.
If your child happens to get into trouble a few times that child can easily acquire a label, and that is truly unfortunate. The snacks children sometimes are given are not always healthy, and with obesity on the rise I feel it teaches children that eating is an activity. I never gave my kids snacks at all, that way they always sat up and ate very well. The children where I worked were even given seconds even though some of them were already overweight.
In the daycare setting children are brought in sick sometimes. A few of those kids had been sick for weeks, still taking medicine and passing those same germs back and forth.
If you want to stay home with your children take care of other people’s children or choose another stay at home job. Fight for what you know is right and what you need!
My specialty was babies. They usually started to come to me at six weeks old. They were used to taking naps right after lunch. They were happy and didn’t cry only if they were sick or hurt. I loved my job. I am not saying there are not good daycare centers around, but from what I have seen up close and personal the best choice is to work at home. If you absolutely can’t do that I would try to find someone that you know, and trust to watch them, so that they are happy and healthy. If you can’t find someone you know to keep your child and you have to choose daycare please do not rush your children in the morning. Have them go to bed early, and allow them plenty of time to get ready in the morning. They will be calmer and more relaxed upon entering the center. If you have to select one of the options other than working at home, you need to have open communication with who is taking care of you children. If the person tells you there is a problem work through it, and don’t think that they are blaming you. They just want your child to be happy. Please do not talk against the person who is watching your children. The kids always hear it, and then don’t listen as well to the person taking care of them. This can cause behavior problems and even worse, negative labels on a child’s forming self-esteem.
The benefits of working at home for your children are:
- They will be calmer
- Siblings get to play together (in daycare they are in classes.)
- They will enjoy and benefit from eating healthier food.
- They will not get sick as often, and if they do you will be there to take care of them.
- You will be sure they are safe.
- You may have less guilt and as a result, be a better parent.
As I said before, we have sacrificed a lot so that I could work at home. One of the things we had to sacrifice was that we did not purchase toys or videos for our kids unless it was for a birthday or Christmas. I wanted to buy gifts just like everyone else, but couldn’t and never felt guilty about it. I think a lot of parents feel guilty if they don’t buy everything that their children ask for. Somehow they feel if there was a divorce in the family the child deserves it, or they feel guilty because of the time spent away from their children. We spent $25.00 on birthday presents and $50.00 - $60.00 on Christmas presents per child. That was our limit and we stuck to it. I bought them candy when they were sick. Children are never satisfied with anything anymore and just want the next thing, because they have been given so much. The children get used to having everything and then grow up and sometimes can’t afford everything they see and are very discontent. I never could understand why parents would want to set their children up for that. Little kids do not need materialistic things, they can have a whole hour of fun with a beat up old dish and mud. What they DO need is love, time, and attention from their parents. If they get the sleep that little growing children need, and are taught how to get along with other children early in life they will be happy and a joy to be around.
Lori Reed is a Christian mother, homemaker, and author. Lori and her husband Jeff of 24 years have four children. One grandson, two granddaughters, and a miracle grandchild on the way. They live with their twenty-one year old son, and their four legged child, Scout. He is a very spoiled Boston Terrier. Lori’s website is Authorsden.com
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